Damnit

Its that time. Let me know your spring wish lists and I can start getting your stuff :)

http://www.livablestreets.com/streetswiki/bike-boxes

For your last Thanksgiving in Minneota I invited half the universe,
Holm's single-handed feed-the-hungry, stuff-the-lonesome-stranger
with turkey and giblets and pie. Already death had winked at you
once or twice from behind its shadowy curtain.
My neighbors pitched in with gravy, bread, and labor. Thursday morning
Tom brought lemon pies, steaming, acid-sweet smell,
majestic meringues, soaring peaks of beaten egg white.
On the table cooling, you smelled them, found a fork,
and, a mischievous sweet-toothed boy, were set to violate a hot meringue,
when I walked in and said, sharp of voice, "Get the hell out of there!
Those hot pies will be ruined if you dig into them."
"So what?" You shot me an insulted look. "They're only pies.
Eat them yourself." You skulked out into the morning. Toward night
your snit evaporated, and you resumed your usual grace and humor.
By then I'd grown my guilty conscience, remembering
that you lived under sentence of impending death.
I should have kept my mouth shut, one nagging inner voice
said to another, watched you put an entire hot lemon pie
into your gullet. What a hard business being human -
all we know and remember shadows every simple act.
The next Thanksgiving you lay close to death, all food
loathsome, indigestible. Kept half alive with cans
of glutinous Ensure, we made a lemon pie to tempt you
into one more small pleasure, but you impaled
the pie with a fork, left it standing upright in the meringue,
and turned away, lost to all joy.
We are who we are until we aren't anything anymore but air.
I carry that steaming pie to my own grave, offering it to you
over and over again, atonement. I hear your wry voice
saying, as it said so often:
"Eat dessert first; life is short and uncertain."

Just clik the picture

  I repair a lot of Fox Alps Rear shocks. The downside of these shocks is that they have two major failure modes.

1. The strut cracks and the shock will not hold air anymore. Sometimes I can replace the strut with a used one. Used ones are getting harder and harder to find so the this is becoming harder to to.
2. The Eyelets crack. Same story here.

  If you have an older Cannondale this can be a real bummer because nothing else fits in place of the clevis mount Fox.

  But the guys out at Risse Racing put together some of their Genesis Air Shocks for me and they have the clevis mount!! Yeah! The retail is $198 and they out perform the original Fox Alps.

   So if your shock can’t be repaired this is a really nice to keep your bike going!

So there you have it. My cell phone is 952 240 9158 if you can’t find me at the shop.

They will be really happy to see you and while you are there they can send your fork in to me :) It is a great time of year to get your service done!

I will be in late this day

• Gotta go to the dentist
• Gotta go to the Post Office
• Gotta go to QBP

Then I will be back, most likely by noon :)

http://deletionpedia.dbatley.com/w/index.php?title=Shockspital_%28deleted_03_Apr_2008_at_10:42%29

Press Release from BRAIN

LEXINGTON, SC (BRAIN)—The Hawley Company's service center manager Ian Foyster was tragically killed on Monday.
"He was in the wrong place at the wrong time and was shot," said Dave Goeppner, marketing manager for The Hawley Company.
“This is a stunning and tragic loss for the Hawley family—as well as the bike industry as a whole,” said company president Steve Hawley. “Ian was a truly gifted and respected service technician and was a dear friend to many in our industry. There are no words to adequately describe the sadness of this event”.
Prior to arriving at Hawley in 2004 and literally building Hawley’s Service Center, Foyster raced motorcycles professionally in Europe and worked in the motocross industry for over 15 years. Upon entering the bike industry, Foyster quickly earned a reputation for his vast technical knowledge and mechanical skills. He was also well known for his English wit and sarcasm.
“Ian will be deeply missed by all of us," Hawley said. “Our thoughts and prayers are with his family."
Foyster is survived by his ex-wife, daughter and stepson of South Carolina, and a son, daughter and grandchild in England. Services are pending.

My 29er was stolen last night.  The lock was cut and the bike was clumsily dismantled loose from my Bob trailer (which they left) from inside the gate in my front yard at 28th & Fremont in Uptown.  The bike is very distinctive, has little resale value, and you'll know it when you see it. 

Description:

It's an aluminum no-name frame (NYCbikes, for the record) that's been rattle-canned white with a black Karate Monkey fork.  It has a "sticker collage" on the downtube that's mostly blue and black and a Surly head badge.  Someone might try to pawn it off as a Surly, but it's clearly not.  Most notably, it has a pink bashguard (anodized red, really) and red pedals.  It's set up 2 x 1 with a front derailleur and Shimano Alfine tensioner.  Salsa riser bar.  Silver Sugino crank, other parts all black.  Crank Brothers headset (green) and a white headset cap.  Avid V-brakes.  Schwalbe Big Apple tire in the front and WTB Nanoraptor in the rear.

Elliott Morris 812-350-1013  elray.morris@gmail.com

Grumpy Girl Ride WINTER, 2009

Come rain, come shine, come snow or sleet!

Alls you need to know is meet us at Grumpy’s Nord East 1:30pm November 7^th.

Time to catch up on paperwork and solve some problems.

(Picture by Brad Quartuccio)

I was out of town, but now I am back. I have a mountain of voicemail and email to get back to. Please be patient.

Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

Although neither Goathork or Shockspital is a featured link on this site; you should still check it out,

http://www.allhailtheblackmarket.com/

I am collecting old Fox Alps Shocks, anybody got some they want to get rid of?

Best wishes toward your fast healing!!

Urban Bike Tour 2009

There are approximately 700 bridges in Minneapolis, some of which take you to fantastic locations to drink beer, and some of which ARE fantastic locations to drink beer. In the Fat Tire Tour tradition, we’ll ride our bikes over and under as many bridges as we can during this 25-mile cruiser loop.

When: Saturday, August 15^th, 2009, meet at 11 a.m. and ride at 12:30

Start: Town Hall Brewery Show up at Town Hall Brewery around 11:00 a.m. if you plan on eating first. Food is straight off the menu, beer is straight up delicious. Roll out is at 12:30. If you miss the rollout, follow your nose, it always knows.

The Route: We’ll do a counterclockwise loop north along the Mississippi, then down south through the chain of lakes, onto the Minnehaha Creek path, back along the Mississippi north to Town Hall. We’ll mix it up with, some optional off-road sections, a few beer breaks and some historical information about some of the bridges we see. Consider it like the greatest hits of Minneapolis Mafia rides all tied into one, but with a large group of superfreaks.

The Reason: Because bridges are engineering marvels, wonderful places to view the city and because Reed said so.

Also: This is a slow ride. get your all-day pass, if you wear a heart rate monitor, leave it at home, in fact, leave yourself at home, nobody gives a shit how fast you are, how much street cred you exude or how tight your pants are, if you’re scared, where a helmet, you might have to pee outside, pray for an equal number of chicks, make sure your bike doesn’t suck, carry some Xtra beer, tell your friends and plan to see the best parts of this city for the whole day.

Brought to you by: Drop, Roll and Stop Productions

Thats right, get’em while they last!!

I got a google phone number! it is 786-Bikefix !

I am loading up my bike as we speak and I will spend the next 7 days with 20,000 people riding across Iowa. Cyril will be manning the front desk Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, I will be back around the 27th.

In an emergency you can text me, but don’t call as coverage will be spotty. 9522409158

I will try and update Facebook often :)

A few things from the bike shop.

Date: 2009-05-27, 4:05PM PDT

Whoo-hoo Seattle, the sun is out! Let's discuss a few things before you fumble with swapping the unused ski rack for the unused bike rack on the Subaru.
So yes, you've noticed the sun is out, and hey!- maybe it would be cool to to some bike riding. Let's keep in mind that the sun came out of all 600,000 of us, so for the most part, you're not the only one who noticed. Please remember that when you walk into my shop on a bright, sunny Saturday morning. It will save you from looking like a complete twat that huffs "Why are there so many people here?"
Are we all on the same page now about it being sunny outside? Have we all figured out that we're not the only clever people that feel sunny days are good for bike riding? Great. I want to kiss all of you on your forehead for sharing this moment with me. Put your vitamin D starved fingers in mine, and we'll move on together to some pointers that will make life easier.
SOME POINTERS FOR THE PHONE:
- I don't know what size of bike you need. The only thing that I can tell over the phone is that you sound fat. I don't care how tall you are. I don't care how long your inseam is. Don't complain to me that you don't want to come ALL THE WAY down to the bike shop to get fitted for a bike. I have two hundred bikes in my inventory. I will find one that fits you. Whether you come from the north or the south, my shop is downhill. Pretend you're going to smell a fart, ball up, and roll your fat ass down here.
- Don't get high and call me. Write it down, call me later. When I have four phone lines ringing, and a herdlet
of people waiting for help, I can't deal with you sitting there "uuuuhhh"-ing and "uuummm"-ing while your brain tries to put together some cheeto-xbox-fixie conundrum. We didn't get disconnected, I left you on hold to figure your shit out.
-I really do need to see your bike to know what is wrong with it. You've already figured out that when you car makes a noise, the mechanic needs to see it. When your TV goes blank, a technician needs to see it. I can tell you, if there is one thing I've learned from you fucking squirrels, it's that "doesn't shift right" means your bike could need a slight cable adjustment, or you might just need to stop backing into it with the Subaru. Bring it in, I'll let you know for sure.
- No, I don't know how much a good bike costs. For some, spending $500 dollars is a kingly sum. For others, $500 won't buy you one good wheel. You really need to have an idea of what you want, because every one of you raccoons "doesn't want to spend too much".
FOR YOU INVENTIVE TYPES AND DO-IT-YOURSELFERS:
- Just because you think is should exist, doesn't mean that it does. I know that to you, a 14 inch quill stem makes perfect sense, but what makes more sense is buying a bike that fits you, not trying to make your mountain bike that was too small for you to begin with into a comfort bike.
- If some twat on some message board somewhere says that you can use the lockring from your bottom bracket as a lockring for a fixie conversion doesn't mean that A: you can, or B: you should. Please listen to me on this stuff, I really do have your best interests at heart.
- I love that you have the enthusiasm to build yourself a recumbent in the off season. That does not mean however, that I share your enthusiasm; ergo I won't do the "final tweaks" for you. You figure out why that Sram shifter and that Shimano rear derailleur don't work together. While we're at it, you recumbent people scare me a little. Don't bring that lumbering fucking thing anywhere near me.
A DEDICATION TO ALL THE HIPSTER DUCHEBAGS:
-If you shitheads had any money, you wouldn't NEED a vintage Poo-zhow to get laid. Go have an ironic mustache growing contest in front of American Apparel, so that I can continue selling $300 bikes to fatties, which is what keeps the lights on.
- Being made in the 80's may make something cool, but that doesn't automatically make something good. The reason that no one has ridden that "vintage" Murray is because it's shit. It was shit in the 80's, a trend it carried proudly through the 90's, and rallied with into the '00's. What I mean to say is, no, I can't make it work better. It's still shit, even with more air in the tires.
SO YOU'RE GONNA BUY A BIKE:
Good for you! Biking is awesome. It's easy, it's fun, it's good for you. I want you to bike, I really do. To that end, I am here to help you.
-Your co-worker that's "really into biking" knows fuck all. Stop asking for his advice. He could care less about you having the right bike. He wants to validate his bike purchase(s) through you. He also wants to sleep with you, and wear matching bike shorts with you.
- You're not a triathlete. You're not. If you were, you wouldn't be here, and we both know it.
- You're not a racer. If you were, I'd know you already, and you wouldn't be here, and we both know it.
- So you want a bike that you can ride to work, goes really fast, is good for that triathlon you're doing this summer (snicker), is good on trails and mud, and costs less than $300. Yeah. Listen, I want a car that can go 200 miles an hour, tow a boat, has room for five adults, is easy to parallel park but can carry plywood, gets 60mpg, and only costs $3,000. I also want a unicorn to blow me. What are we even talking about here? Oh yeah. Listen, bikes can be fast, light, cheap and comfortable. Pick two, and we're all good.
ABOUT YOUR KIDS:
Your kids are amazing. Sure are. No one else has kids as smart, able, funny or as good looking as you. Nope. Never see THAT around here.
- I have no idea how long you kid will be able to use this bike. As it seems to me, your precious is a little retarded, and can't even use the damn thing now. More likely, your budding genius is going to leave the bike in the driveway where you will Subaru the bike to death LONG before the nose picker outgrows the bike.
- Stop being so jumpy. I am not a molester. You people REALLY watch too much TV. When I hold the back of the bike while your kid is on it, it's not because I get a thrill from *almost* having my hand on kid butt, it's because kids are unpredictable, and generally take off whenever possible, usually not in the direction you think they might go. Listen, if I were going to do anything bad to your kids, I'd feed them to sharks, because sharks are FUCKING AWESOME.
I hope this helps, and have fun this summer riding your kick-ass bike!

  I share a building with The Alt and last night we were broken into. Only one thing was stolen,  a new Felt “Brougham” from the Alt. The Serial number on the bike that was stolen is HT0503782 and here is a picture of it, it should stand out like a sore thumb.                                                                                                                                            

Please help spread the word about this. We think we were cased out for the week beforehand, a young guy with a camera kept suspiciously showing up around the shop. SO keep an eye on the people drifting around your shop.  If you see this bike you can contact me or The Alt Bikeshop

Communications Department  City Hall

News Release

Contact:  Matt Laible, Communications Department, 612-673-2786

View this release online at www.ci.minneapolis.mn.us/newsroom

Minneapolis City Goals: A Safe Place to Call Home . One Minneapolis.Lifelong Learning Second to None. Connected Communities.Enriched Environment. A Premier Destination.

Minneapolis named one of the world’s top biking cities

June 24, 2009 (MINNEAPOLIS) Travel and Leisure magazine has named Minneapolis one of the world’s top biking cities. The magazine chose ten cities worldwide for its list, and just three in the United States. According to the June 2009 issue of Travel and Leisure, Minneapolis is among this elite group of bike-friendly cities in the world because it has built an infrastructure that promotes bicycling for both transportation and recreation.

Because of the bicycling improvements made in Minneapolis in recent years, it’s now the nation’s number two bike-commuting city, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Travel and Leisure refers to Minneapolis as “a case study in policy promoting bicycling as a viable means to get around.” The magazine notes designated street lanes, bike lockers, recreational trails, and winter plowing of bike trails as reasons it placed Minneapolis on its list.

Minneapolis has 83 miles of off-street bicycle paths and 40 miles of streets with dedicated bicycle lanes. Minneapolis has also been awarded the League of American Bicyclists’ Bicycle Friendly Community Award.

The U.S. Census bureau ranks Minneapolis as the number two bicycling city in the country, just behind Portland, in its comparison of how many people bike to work in the nation’s 50 biggest cities. Bicycle commuters help keep down traffic congestion in Minneapolis. Bicycling is a great workout and an environmentally friendly alternative to driving, reducing our dependence on oil and our production of greenhouse gases.

To learn more about bicycling in Minneapolis, visit the City’s bicycling Web page.

New Patch kit from Knog. A little cheeky but a lot of fun.

Check’em out!

   I just found out today that an old friend has passed. Joe Bungo and I were messengers together in Pittsburgh, we mostly lost contact with each other over the years but when we did see each other (Usually at Dee’s) It was like old times all over again.

  I helped him build a single speed out of an older Raliegh Professional frame, it was blue with white panels. We found some white Sante' cranks and white Velocity rims; it was really sweet. That was more than 10 years ago but I remember how excited we were to finish it. It was hip before hip was hipster.

  Joe had a very bright face, kinda like a kitten that was playing. I really enjoyed his company and always wished we would have more time in common.

  I will really miss bumping into him.

Stolen Bike and Kids Trailer, NE MPLS

Stolen from a garage at 11XX NE 4^th St, Minneapolis

Surly brand bike. Unmarked Long Haul Trucker model, with braze ons on fork, chainstay, and under down tube. Mostly black parts include XT/Alex Adventurer rims, XT deraileurs, ITM stem and drop bar, Continental Contact tires, WTB Siverado saddle, Ritchey seatpost. Silver Sugino triple crank. Bar end shifters. Black Planet Bike fenders. Black rear Surly Nice rack w/knog light attached. A black and orange Kryptonite u-lock was on the rack. The frame had non-standard “surly’ decals on the downtube and a black and white face decal on the seat tube. 2 water bottles, one plastic, one stainless steel. The frame was a prototype, no may have had no serial number (would be located on the underside of the frame, on the bottom bracket (crank axle casing).

Attached to the bike was a Burley Encore child trailer, black, yellow and blue. It had no front or rear reflectors (it did have wheel reflectors), and there were no wheel guards installed in front of the wheels on the frame. Inside were 2 glass baby bottles, a coil lock and a red target shopping bag with a pump, bicycle tube, and small tool kit. This trailer belonged to Max, and he used it all the time. This is a real bummer.

Stolen sometime Saturday night June 6/7.

Call with any info: Andy 651-373-2500

The News

Sign the petition,

  Have you ever been to Fruita ? Have you had Pizza at the Hot Tomato ? Then listen up, the ladies are loosing their lease and have to capitalize a move to a new location in a hurry ! So stop in and eat a lot of Pizza or shop till you drop online.

  It looks like there is no new location yet so this move wont be cheap. It reminds me of Shockspital this winter.

So go here, then go here !

It will be a very very very busy day

Police Department  130 City Hall  350 S. 5th St.

                           Minneapolis, MN 55415

News Release

Contact:

Sgt. Jesse Garcia III  612-919-9023 jesse.garcia@ci.minneapolis.mn.us

Sgt. William Palmer  612-919-9362 william.palmer@ci.minneapolis.mn.us

TO PROTECT WITH COURAGE / TO SERVE WITH COMPASSION

Bicycle versus truck accident closes Park Avenue

May 20, 2009 (MINNEAPOLIS)  At approximately 7:40 a.m. officers in the First Precinct responded to a report of an accident at the intersection of 14^th Street East and Park Avenue South.  When the officers arrived they found that the accident involved a semi tractor pulling a large dump box and a bicyclist.  The bicyclist was deceased. 

The cause of the accident is under investigation by the Minneapolis Police Department’s Traffic Unit and the Minnesota State Patrol’s Commercial Vehicle Enforcement Unit. 

The identity of the victim will be released by the Hennepin County Medical Examiner’s office.

Currently Park Avenue South is closed at 15^th Street East.  East Fourteenth Street is also closed from East Grant Street to Park Avenue South.   These closures will remain in effect for one to two hours while the accident investigation continues.  Motorists should avoid the area as there is already congestion surrounding the accident site.

The PIO contact for this incident is Sgt. William Palmer.